


Letters to Lucas

by julrenda



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/pseuds/julrenda
Summary: Vic writes to Lucas with her feelings about his death and in her heart and mind he still lives on.
Relationships: Jackson Avery/Margaret "Maggie" Pierce, Jackson Avery/Victoria Hughes, Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley
Comments: 83
Kudos: 47





	1. It's you that I want

**Author's Note:**

> It's destroying me to try and understand why Vic is the way she is in season 3 of S19 and on Grey's. It also hurt to see an Instagram live chat that Barrett Doss had with Danielle Savre and Grey Damon about Vic's current story line. 
> 
> I needed to write this as I am dark and I need the light to shine again. I needed reasoning.

June 29th 2019

Dear Lucas (My Hubby),

I don’t know how to survive without you. I grieve for you in my own way. It’s less conventional than the normal process of crying, getting angry and being depressed. Does anyone know what grieving looks like? 

I am smiling, laughing and though it may hurt you I have met someone else. A new lover, Jackson Avery. He is a plastic surgeon at Grey/Sloan Memorial Hospital. You know his ex Dr Maggie Pierce, your doctor who called your time of death on May 3rd 2019 at 17:43. 

Jackson is not you. The complete opposite actually. I look at him and I see you. I feel his heart beating and I feel you. He makes love to me and it’s you I am making love with. In my head and heart, you are still with me. I don’t want you to be dead and I am not ready to give you up. My life continues with you in it.

I know it’s not healthy but it’s what gets me out of bed every day. I am not ready for the pain to return from when you first left me. Going to the fires in L.A. straight after your funeral I was not Okay, I was dark. There was no light, dark was all I could see. 

The occurrences in L.A lead me to think of hope and the good of things to come. There was no alternative. I didn’t want to fall in a heap if I brought myself back to reality. I want to be with you. Spend my life with you and the only hope I had. The only way to make you survive is for you to be in a symbiotic relationship. Jackson was available when I came home from L.A. so it’s with Jackson who I chose as your host.

He doesn’t know that I am using him and he can’t. Besides I am sure he is using me in some way. A rebound from his break-up with Maggie. Who cares? All I care about is you Lucas not him.

I know I am still young and I may fall in love again and want to spend the rest of my life with someone else. For now, it’s you and only you who I love and want. Please forgive me Lucas for not answering my phone when you called. It could be so different if I did. I would not need another to feel the comfort, love and happiness. I would have you. In an unconventional way I still do have you and I am fine with that.

I love you always and forever.

Vic (Your Eggy)


	2. From the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria writes to Lucas on Valentine's day while in Australia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Letters to Lucas gives you an insight into Vic's life after losing Lucas Ripley. This chapter starts in the future when Vic is an eighty-eight-year-old woman in allying health. The letters will not be in chronological date order.

May 1st 2078  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A

"Brianna! I think I have found the wooden box mum is wanting." Barrett calls from the bedroom that her eighty-eight-year-old mother Victoria had shared with their father Brett before he passed two years before at age 86.

Brianna walks into the room and sees Barrett her older sister by two years hold up the jarrah box with carvings of Australian animals on it. Their dad made the box for their mother and had given it to her on the day he proposed fifty-six years before.

"That's it. C'mon, we need to get to the hospital mum doesn't have much time." Brianna tells her picking up her jacket and handbag and Barrett doing the same.

Twenty minutes later forty-nine-year-old Barrett and forty-seven-year-old Brianna walk into their mother's hospital room at Seattle Grey Memorial Hospital. The sisters older brother Luke and half-brother Byron were talking and stopped as their sisters walked in. Victoria opens her eyes and sends them a weak smile.

"Mum we have the box of letters you wanted," Brianna tells her mother softly.

Vic nods as she touches her youngest daughters' hand. "Read the letters to me please Brie."

Brianna gives Barrett the box and she pulls out a large number of letters. Barrett flicks through them and sees that most of the letters are for a man called Lucas, the others are addressed to her father.

Barrett's thick Australian accent asks, "Mum do you want me to read the letters you wrote to Lucas first?"

Vic with a croaky voice replies, "Yes my darling."

"They are all out of date order, does that matter?"

Vic shakes her head "Read all of them Rette. Start from the top."

Barrett takes the top letter and opens it and she starts to read.

February 14th 2020

Dear Lucas (My Hubby),

I am writing to you from Australia. Who would believe that I made it here to the place of your birth? The wildfires, oops sorry bushfires had been wreaking havoc on the eastern part of Australia for months. Travis, Jack, Andy and myself put up our hands to help. We arrived in Sydney on January 2nd and started fighting the fires straight away up in the Blue Mountains, about two hours from Sydney. We stayed in the region for about a week before going to The Gippsland area of Victoria to fight more fire. By the end of January, most fires were under control. 

Andy and Jack flew back home two weeks ago totally buggered (learnt some Aussie lingo I did). Travis and I met a new friend and fellow volunteer firefighter, Brett McLeod. 

Brett too lost his wife, Brianna of ten years, a year ago giving birth to their second child. That day he lost them both. His family own a cattle farm in the Gippsland area and lucky for them their farm was safe from the fire. Travis and I were invited by Brett to stay and experience the country life. Travis and I had planned to take our vacation time in Melbourne and Sydney after fighting the fires but we could not pass up the kind invitation and accepted. Maybe I have a slight crush on Brett but I am still not ready to start anything new yet. 

My heart still yearns for you. He reminds me of you in a different kind of way. He pokes fun at himself, likes to crack a joke or plays tricks on his two older brothers and other people gullible to his charms. Brett has light brown-blond sun-streaked hair, sky blue eyes and he has an amazing smile just like yours and is just as tall, maybe slightly taller.

I have gone horse riding, mopped up the horse stalls, done some baking with Brett's mom Maureen and tried to herd cattle (so totally bad at that). The cows escaped out of the paddock and onto another farm through the broken fence. Last weekend Brett gave Travis the responsibility of the miniature horse-riding walks around a small paddock with young children on top at a fair to raise money for those affected by the fires. Travis was so adorable or was it Daisy (the miniature horse) that was?

Do you remember last year on Valentine's day you surprised me with a horse-riding lesson and the laughs we had watching each other trying to get on top of the horse and you told me you could ride? Sorry, you can't but I can now. Travis is hopeless at it too FYI. Brett's a great teacher and is very patient. He is a sweetheart.

I have to tell you Brett surprised me this morning with a cut out love-heart shaped note asking for me to be his Valentine's and then he kissed me on the lips in a lingering kiss. It felt nice and sweet. I didn't know how to react and felt really weird around him. My stomach had butterflies for the first time since you. I ran off and have been avoiding him ever since. This is why I am writing to you to keep away from him.

Our time in Australia is coming to an end as Travis and I leave to go back home tomorrow. I will miss Australia and the new friendships we have formed. Brett has invited me back anytime I like. Might take him up on the offer sometime in the future but it is a hell of a long way to come to visit so I don't know if I can get more time off. 

Who am I kidding I will never see Brett or Australia again after today so it's pointless to imagine coming back here and to see Brett again or will I? The way my present life is turning out at the moment I can't tell what will happen. For now, my thoughts lay with you.

Lucas, you will always be my Valentine's. Happy Valentine Day Hubby I love you.

I will be home soon and close to you. 

I love you always and forever.

Vic (Your Eggy)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like this? Please give me your thoughts?
> 
> Buggered - Tired/broken
> 
> Lingo - Language


	3. Is It Time To Move On?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vic wonders if it's time to move on after Lucas. Is Lucas giving her signs that time is now? Vic is not so sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loved up with Vicley today. I just needed to write this piece finding out about the prospect of a snag befalling on a certain unpleasing relationship which makes me incredibly happy.

Barrett watches as her mum sleeps and looks up at the doorway to see her younger sister Brianna and half bother Byron walk into the hospital room with coffee and sandwiches’. 

Barrett whispers to Byron, “Who is this Lucas that mum has written too?”

“You know Chief Ripley, her Chief back in the day when she was a firefighter at Station 19. She was secretly dating him and loved him like crazy. Well, that’s what dad told me.”

“She dated the Chief? That was a no-no.”

“Back then in 2019 it was. That has since changed.”

“Yes, Chief McLeod look at you dating your string of younger consenting subordinate females. Bro, you are not getting any younger. In fact, some people would refer to you as being over the hill. Hurry up and find wife number two and make more babies.”

Byron laughs “I can’t help if I still look youngish, am fit for bedroom activities and have a ripping body at age 61.”

Barrett shakes he head “Yes, I’m too sexy for my t-shirt, doing my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk.” she sings. Brianna laughs and loves the sibling exchange taking place.

“Well if you got it why not flaunt it.” He retorts.

“Evana did a real good job on you leaving you for a young viral farmhand back in Oz twenty years ago. You changed from a doting husband and father of two daughters into this old gigolo. I am glad that I live on the McLeod farm with my sister, her husband and three children and my five kids in Australia and not having to put up with seeing you parade your young floozies around Seattle.”

“Barrett all I have to say is I’m living and loving it. It’s time for you to start living again. Your husband died five years ago. You are living in a bubble away from reality.”

“At least I did not run away from my responsibilities on the farm. I did not run after Harry died because I love my life on the farm. I feel closer to him being there. It's my home and I feel good about myself not throwing myself at other men trying to forget a man I still love. What you are doing is not healthy.”

“I moved to Seattle to be close to our parents and I needed a new start. Mum still had contacts in the SFD and I got in. Yeah, Evana destroyed me and this is my revenge on her. I am healthy, I am loving my position as Fire Chief of the SFD and getting all the young ladies who think I am desirable. Look at Evana now she is in a loveless marriage to that bum she ran off with. Barrett, you don’t have someone to love and that loves you back in return.”

“Neither do you,” Barrett yells back.

“Enough!” Came the cry coming from the hospital bed. Barrett and Byron stop arguing immediately turning to their mum.

“Sorry, Mum.” Barrett and Byron say in unison giving each other a death stare.

Vic looks over to Brianna who smiles at her mum. “Brie read me another letter to Lucas.”

Brie gets up from her seat and open the wooden carved box and takes out another letter. She takes the chair closest to Vic and starts to read.

February 18th 2020

Dear Hubby,

I am back on night shift at Station 19 and it has been quiet on shift only one call out so far. An electric blanket started a fire in a bed. We were lucky that the fire was contained to the bedroom and was out in no time at all.

I could not sleep and be thinking of you. When Travis and I got home from Australia Travis spent the night at my apartment and in our bed. When I woke up, he was in the shower and I saw he had made coffee. I sat up and began to drink it when he came out of the bathroom wet with a towel around his waist. I laughed at him and said “Hot.”

He smiled and was about to drop the towel and I screamed at him in horror to not do it because I did not want to see him naked and scarring my brain of the time you dropped your towel and climbed into bed with me all wet. Goddamn, you were hot. You knew I lied when I said it was the coffee that was hot. In truth, it was lukewarm at best. I miss you so much and God bless Travis making me laugh. 

No one has come close to being as hot as you…Oops, I lie Brett McLeod the Aussie I had/have a slight crush on back in Australia has a beautiful muscle toned body. I watched him as he swam in a watering hole on the farm. I might have imagined him completely naked with an incredible package. 

I did smile for the rest of the day imagining so much more about him and of course thinking of you once I got to bed. Hmmm... I might have played with myself imagining you making love to me. I had the best night sleep afterwards you holding me in your arms.

Travis asked me on the plane coming home from Australia if I was ready to move on from you. I told him no. He begged to differ and said I was and not to pass up the advances of a desirable man like Brett. I told him to drop the conversation. It has not been a year since you died.

I tried moving on straight after you died with that doctor who I prefer not to mention because that was the worst decision of my life pretending, he was you. I was so lost in my grief I had to find solace. Do you forgive me? Show me a sign that you have Lucas. What a fool I am. I am so sorry to have done that to you.

I have more questions for you. Should I move on? Is it time? Would I be a dimwit once again passing up a chance of falling in love with an incredible man like Brett? What should I do Lucas…?

You are a funny man Lucas Ripley as soon as I posed those questions on paper, I got a text from Brett. I take that as your sign that you have forgiven me. Thank you, Hubby.

Brett’s message told me that he misses me, misses our chats and misses my brown chocolate eyes staring into his. Brett also told me his two-year-old son Byron misses me and wants the star song (Disney’s When you wish upon a star). I sang that song to Byron to get him off to sleep every night. Such a beautiful child. How sad for him not having a mother. I hope Brett finds a wife soon who will also be a wonderful mother to Byron.

As I write I begin to think is this your way of telling me I am ready and to move on with Brett? I think you are wrong I don’t feel ready. I need more time for my heart to heal. It is still broken though a dim light has appeared in the darkness. 

Timing and circumstances of living on different sides of the world are telling me Brett is not the one. Maybe someone else will mend my heart when the time is right.

I will know when that time has come. Like I have written in past letters, for now, it’s you and only you who I love and want. I can’t move on when you are still the love of my life.

I love you, Lucas. You hot sexy man. I think its time for bed...haha?

Love Eggy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about the inclusion of Vic's children setting the scene to the letters subject matter?


	4. I Yelled at You and Fell in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke, Vic and Brett's firstborn watches over his mother. Soon his wife appears. Vic reminds them they did not like one another at first and yelled at each other which leads to Nicole reading the letter of Vic and Chief Ripley's first fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feeling so happy at getting a new Vicley scene from S19's currently aired episode (S3E07). I haven't stopped watching that blessed scene of them making out in Sullivan's office. It inspired me to write about their first fight because it led them to confess their love for each other.

Luke sits on the chair beside his mother’s hospital bed watching her face as she talks in her sleep to Lucas. The slight smile on her lips turns into a pucker as if she was kissing someone. Luke chuckles knowing she is dreaming of Lucas kissing her.

He knew who Lucas Ripley was a long time ago before his sibling found out. His mother told him stories of Lucas when he was a younger man and why he was named after him. Luke promised his mother that he would not tell anyone. It was their secret.

A very pregnant Caucasian woman with long dark brown hair in her late thirties walks into the room. Her expression was one of worry and trepidation.

Luke’s blue eyes look up at the woman and whispers, “Nicole I told you to stay at the house with the others, you need to rest after your long plane flight from Melbourne.”

Luke gets up from the chair to allow Nicole to sit. “I know you are angry at me for coming to Seattle being seven months pregnant, but I had to come for you during this time.”

“Your obstetrician advised you against it. What if something had happened on the flight.” Luke says heatedly.

“Luke I am your wife. I want to be here by your side and support you. That is what a woman in love with her man does.”

“Nic, I don’t want to worry about you as well as my mother.” 

Nicole grabs hold of Luke’s hand “It beats worrying about me from afar don’t you think.” Luke’s face softens and nods. “How is she?” Nicole asks.

“Mum has been sleeping and wanting us to read letters of the man I was named after. Lucas Ripley was his name and he died before my mum met my dad. Mum is still in love with him.”

“That’s kind of romantic. Sounds as though she is getting ready to meet this Lucas on the other side.” 

“We don’t know exactly when mum will pass. She seems spritely at the moment getting these letters read to her. She doesn’t want morphine for her pain only a mild sedative. That is why she has been in and out of sleep.”

“Maybe I can read one of her letters she wrote to her Lucas when she wakes up.”

Hearing a familiar female voice Vic whispers opening her eyes, “Nnniiiccc…you’re here”.

“Victoria I am. Here give me your hand.” Nicole stands and sits on the bed and takes hold of Vic’s hand and puts it on her pregnant bump.

Vic’s eyes pop open more widely feeling the kicking of the foetus. “My grandbaby has a lot of energy.” Vic expresses as he eyes fall on Nicole’s face. “Pregnancy agrees with you. Nic, you are a beautiful woman. I am so happy that Luke finally found you. It took him until he was forty-eight to do so.”

“Mum, you do go on but Nicole was worth the wait.”

“From memory, you did not like one another at first and yelled at each other a lot.” 

“I was fighting for the survival of the farm and Nicole being our bank manager was not being agreeable. I had to yell at her so she could see sense.”

Vic laughs “Sounds a little like Lucas and me when we first met. Find the letter that describes Lucas and I’s first actual argument at the skyscraper fire. You will both get a hoot out of it.”

Luke flicks through the letters and finds the one. He passes it to Nicole. “Mum I’ll let Nicole read you the letter.”

“She has a more beautiful voice than you anyhow.” Vic chuckles as Luke winks at her.

Once Nicole is seated back on the chair she starts to read.

August 8th 2019

Dear Lucas (My Gorgeous Hubby),

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you and how we got together. It all had to do with a fight, a disagreement, an argument.

I had my first fight with Jacks…(l won't write his name. I’ll put JA instead). I have no idea what the fight was about, I don’t think he knew either. We argued over the phone during the annual Station 19 Summer Open Day. It was extremely hot out and everyone thought it was a good idea to keep cool in the station and splash in the little blow-up pools we had outback.

That fight reminded me of us and our very first one before we became a couple. It was at the Skyscraper. I did not like you at all at first. That stemmed from the interviews for Jack and Andy’s candidacy for Captain. Remember that was the first time I yelled at you. You told me once that was the time I showed up on your radar. Well, you certainly showed up on mine but in a bad way.

The skyscraper fight was the spark that brought us together. I really did not like you for evacuating the building with my team still inside. We stood out in front of the inferno as I was yelling at you for the second time. You aggressively took a step up towards me yelling at me that there was no other choice to make. We just stared at each other in the eyes for around five seconds. 

At first, I thought you were going to kiss me then I thought you were going to throw me over your shoulder and take me back in the building to set off the next explosion and I mean the explosion of the spicy kind. We both knew then that the spark had ignited.

What I never got a chance to tell you was that I thought you were kinda hot being caveman/ape-man like pounding your chest in aggression. That’s metaphorically speaking of course. God, you were always hot even when we had our first fight as a couple.

That fight was very memorable not for the fight itself but what it led to. The day after the fight I got sick and on the way home I aided in that car accident on the side of the road. You and 19 came for me. I was so mad at you I didn’t want you to treat me but you took me home and cared for me. I told you I had your stupid shirt and if we couldn’t make up to take your nice smelling shirt and go.

What you said immediately after was beautiful. You were willing to give up your shirt, not letting me go and you couldn’t care less about catching a cold from me. I realised then that you loved me. I knew I loved you watching you carrying around a chainsaw during that windy storm. You were so hot I could not let you go, how could I.

I did not expect our fight leading to us confessing our love for one another. I always think of you holding me in your arms and saying “Victoria Hughes, I love you.” I could not believe what came out of your mouth or mine for that matter “Dammit, I love you too.” I looked up at you weirdly asking you if I really said that. You didn’t waste time replying “Yes” then proceeded to tell me again you love me.

Just so you know I don’t love JA and never will. He could not care less about me. He has not even realised I moved into his place after I got evicted from my apartment and our (yours and mine) bed. 

Enough of JA I cringe every time I mention him. I only keep him around because he’s your surrogate and I am not ready to let you go but you know all that.

My Chief, my lover, my fiancé I would always argue with you if it led to you holding me in your arms and telling me you love me. Sorry for making a mess staining this letter with my tears. 

I really miss you and all I have now are dreams of you. I had a strange one last night. We were making out in Battalion Chief Sullivan’s (yes your buddy is that) office and he was sitting watching us. The weirdest bit was I think he was high but who would not get high from the love we exude.

I’ll sign off now so I can dream of you making love to me in the fiery skyscraper. LOL, spicy explosions you always did know how to set me off. Now that is another letter.

Love you Hottness.

Eggy

Nicole sobbing puts the letter in Vic’s hand. Vic had drifted off to sleep again with a wide smile on her face.

“I can’t wait to get you home so we can let our own explosions to go off,” Luke whispers into Nicole’s ear.

“I hope for your sake it’s not my water breaking,” Nicole says laughing wiping away her tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can smile after this.


	5. I Have News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byron, Vic's stepson arrives at the hospital to sit by her bed to hold vigil. He reads another letter his mum wrote to Lucas. This letter has good news for Lucas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was most exceptionally happy that Vic seemed to have ended things with JA in last weeks Grey's episode (16x17). So I had to write about it.

May 2nd 2078  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A

“How’s Mum?” Byron asks his younger brother Luke.

It was 5:00 am and Byron came to take over the vigil by his mother’s hospital bed from Luke. Barrett and Brianna would take over from Bryon at 9:00 am so he can go be Chief of the SFD.

“Nicole managed to read one of the letters to mum before she fell asleep again. So, expect her waking up shortly for her to hear another.”

“Do you think that mum loved dad as much as Lucas?” Byron asks with caution.

“Mum loved dad just as much, maybe even a bit more because she spent her life with him. Would you ask that same question to dad if he were alive about his love for your birth mum?”

“Yeah, I see your point. I am sure my parents loved each other just as much as Vic and my dad.”

“Nicole thinks that mum is getting ready to spend her soul life with Lucas just as dad is spending it with your mum right now.”

Byron laughs then turns his nose up “Eeww, I hope they won’t be having foursomes up there when mum passes.”

Luke shakes his head at Bryon. “Bro, that’s our parents you are talking about. Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s maybe something you would do but not them.”

“Yeah, your right yet again. I did have a threesome once with two young pretty ladies who came right out of the fire academy.”

“Byron you may be older than me but you act like a young man without morals. Grow up bro, life is passing you by. Don’t you think you have had enough fun enjoying the single life? It’s twenty years since Evana left you. You need to love again and be loved in return. Even your two adult daughters want that for you. They are not proud of the way you act. They are revolted by it. They have told me.”

The hard-hitting words make Byron think for a minute or two. “I have been hurting, I have been living life to forget the hurt of lost love. I need Ebony and Ivory to be proud of me. Barrett has also been on my back about settling down again. Maybe I should find the right woman closer to my age.”

Just as he said those words a caramel coloured woman in a doctor’s coat in her early to mid-forties walks in and stares into Byron’s blue eyes as he looks into her chocolate brown ones. A shot of instant attraction grabs him. She seems familiar to him. He hopes he has not bedded her already because he would have loved to remember that time.

“Hello, I don’t know if you remember me. I am Diane Pierce I was your dad’s palliative care physician at the time he passed and I am here for your mother. Sorry, I forgot your name.” Diane asks as he looks at her left hand for a wedding band and there was not one.

“I thought you looked familiar. I am Byron McLeod and this is my half brother Luke.” Byron gestures towards Luke.

“Yes, I spoke with Luke and his wife late last night. Do you have any concerns about your mother’s care?”

Byron shakes his head “Do you think it will be long now?”

“Having experience with the dying. Most of them will go in their own time. They wait for something significant in their life, like waiting for someone to appear or a special date or time on the clock. Your mom seems to be waiting for something.”

“My wife seems to think she is waiting to meet up with her first love who died fifty-nine or so years ago.”

“Lucas Ripley, yes my mother is Dr Maggie Pierce who treated the Chief and called his time of death. My mum spoke of Lucas’s and Vic’s love with fondness. He loved your mom very much.”

“So, you know of my mother and the Chief's secret love affair?” Byron asks.

“A little but I would love for you to tell me more,” Diane says then quickly apologises as she sees Byron’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, sorry I did not mean to be forward, but I like to hear about people’s lives, their stories, especially those that are soon to depart our earthly realm.”

“No need to apologise. I would love to tell you what I know from these letters mum wrote to Lucas. Maybe tonight over dinner.”

Diane looks over the letters already read spread out on the bed. “Don’t you want to be here with your mother at this time.”

“Sure, but we still need to eat.”

She smiles up at Byron. “Okay let’s eat at the hospital cafeteria. That way you and I are close if something happens. Let’s say seven.”

“It’s a date Diane,” Byron says smiling watching her cheeks brightened.

“Wonders never cease,” Vic exclaims opening her eyes. “About time you go out with a pretty woman closer to your age. I am happy that it's Diane.”

Diane laughs “Hello Victoria, mom says Hello as well. If my mom was her right now she would be saying the same thing to me."

Victoria makes a small throaty laugh. “Tell her hello from me.” Diane nods. Vic looks over to Byron and says “Read me another letter, Byron.”

“Yes mum.” Byron picks up another letter from the wooden carved box.

August 10th 2019

Dear Lucas,

I have some good news for you Lucas. It’s over between JA and I. He found out I secretly moved multiple bags into his back closet. I told him I moved into his apartment in a habitat way because I lost my lease. He brought my bags to Station 19 and dropped them at my feet. He was not happy that I moved into his place and did not tell him. I told me I thought he would not find out which made things worse.

Before JA and I spoke again, I conveniently moved in with Dean Miller to help him look after his newborn baby daughter, Pruitt after his ex JJ left him holding the baby. Yes, he is a dad. He was most surprised to find out JJ whom he broke up with moons ago turn up at his door with just weeks away from giving birth to his baby after they had a one-night hook-up nine months before. 

I so wanted to be pregnant with our baby when you passed. That way you would still with me. I’ll name my firstborn son after you instead. Ha-ha, I probably end up having all daughters. God, I want a son or two.

Anyhoo I’ll get back to JA and I. When we talked later about moving into his place. I told him that I found somewhere else to live. JA got upset yet again at my moving in with Dean into the houseboat. He told me that Dean has feelings for me. I laughed it off. We are friends. I would not get together with Dean. 

I see him as a brother. You know that. You saw it on the day of Dean’s Birthday. You remember what happened next. That night we flirted, as I got the Birthday cake out of the refrigerator and the word ‘Spice’ was mentioned. I am smiling right now because I wanted you so badly. 

I loved how we continued our flirting on the rooftop of the station as we cut and served the cake. Oh, the following morning is what I remember most memorably. Thank god the bar was closed which lead to us having our spicy conversation back in my apartment. The first time we made love. I think of it every day. It was the sexiest spice I ever had.

There I go again writing about us and not the topic at hand. I think that JA and I broke up. From where I stood, we did. I told him goodbye and walked away as it began to rain. I took the rain to mean you were crying in happiness that JA and I had ended things.

I replaced him the day after with a magnificent golden specimen that I call Hubby. It’s the best money I ever spent. I am in love with my Hubby, he knows what I like. He vibrates in my hands to tell me he is enjoying it also, LOL.

So that’s my news. I will now take the time I need to mourn you properly like I should have done straight after you passed instead of getting involved with someone. 

I love you Luke. I always will.

Love your Eggy

Byron turns to his mum. “You loved the Chief very much. I want to find that kind of love. The spend the rest of my life kind of love. Mum, you were lucky to find it twice. I hope I find the second love of my life.”

“I think you have. I felt the electricity between you and Diane. Go for it, Byron. Make your moms proud.”

With that Byron kisses Victoria’s forehead and picks up another letter to read. He holds her hand as he starts to narrate the letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you continue to like these letters with cameos of Vic's family members. Finding out more of Vic's life with Brett will begin shortly.


	6. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria's daughter Barrett comes by the hospital to sit with her mother. Vic tries to push Barrett and an Australian doctor together. Vcs letter to Lucas gives Barrett some meaning into moving on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is doing ok and keeping well. I have added a little bit of what is going on in the world to bring Victoria and Brett closer.

May 2nd 2078  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A

Byron was dozing in a chair beside Victoria’s hospital bed when Barrett loudly enters the room kicking the partially closed door open at 9:00 am. Vic opens her eyes and smiles at Barrett who is holding a coffee in each of her hands and her handbag and a shopping bag hanging from her arms. 

“Rette, you’ll wake your brother, let him sleep. He has a date tonight with my doctor.” Vic tells her softly.

Barrett’s raises her eyebrows in surprise “Dr Pierce, that’s a turn of events. When did that happen?”

“Be nice, they met for the second time earlier this morning and an instant attraction was formed. You should find someone new too. You have had enough time wallowing in your grief.”

“By reading these letters to Lucas you jumped into bed with the next available man and never took time to grieve Lucas. I am taking my time mum. I am not there yet.”

“You are ready but you are living a disconnected life. A lonely life. An emotionally safe life out of fear or ability to truly accept love into your heart. Break down those walls, open your heart. Maybe you should start writing letters to Harry? These letters were my grieving mechanism.” Victoria says holding a letter in her hand.

“So, if these letters were your way of dealing then why did you start a relationship with Jackson?”

“Lucas was my life no matter how short a time it was. I truly adored him. It hurt immensely when he first passed. I needed the pain to stop. Jackson became my surrogate Lucas until I could manage on my own and begin the process of healing. You have recovered, everyone can see it except for you.”

Barrett knew her mum was right. Her heart had mended. She was terrified of letting herself love someone new. 

“Okay, you’re right mum. The next man I meet I will ask him out on a date. Unless…”

“Excuse me? A man in a doctor’s coat walks into Vic’s room. “Is that an Australian accent I hear?” He asks with an incredible wide smile.

Barrett looks at the younger blond-haired, bearded, blue-eyed man when Vic gasps “Lucas, is that you?”

“G’Day there. Sorry to disappoint you, mam, my name is Dr Lawrence Riley I am from Melbourne, Australia.”

“Lawrence Riley! Hmm, nice to me you.” Vic chuckles with a big grin on her face. “You look like Lucas Ripley my deceased fiancée, whom I lost long ago.”

“I am sorry for your loss. Who are you, beautiful women?” He asks staring at Barrett.

“My name is Victoria McLeod and this is my daughter Barrett and the gentleman sleeping in the chair is my son Byron.”

“It’s so lovely to meet you, Barrett. Please call me Lance.” Lance’s blue mischievous eyes twinkle at her as he picks up her left hand and kisses the top of it.

Barrett blushes “Happy to meet you, Lance. What brings you to Seattle?”

“I travelled to the U.S. near on a year ago to further my career in orthopaedics. I am due to go home to Melbourne in another six weeks.”

“Are you available to take my daughter out on a date?” Vic asks in a pleading tone.

Now its Lance’s turn to go red in the face. “Ahh, I would like to very much. I am celebrating my thirty-ninth Birthday tonight. Would you care to join me and my fellow colleagues?” He asks.

“I just turned forty-nine and have five children.” Barrett blurts out randomly in nervousness.

“Age means nothing when there is love.” Vic states.

Lance chuckles “I agree with your mum. Age has no boundaries when love is involved. Five children you have your work cut out for you. I have a daughter Josie.”

Barrett shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know about drinks tonight. The timing is not good.”

“I am not going to die today.” Vic roars.

Lance and Barrett look at one another in amusement. “What’s your number I could call you some time if you like instead,” Lance suggests.

Byron who had woken up during the conversation prattles off her number. Barrett never even had a chance to refuse.

“No! Barrett will go out with you tonight. Stop wasting time and fall in love already.” Vic insists. “There is chemistry between you two.” 

Lance looks at Barrett with a hopeful goofy expression. “So, how about it. Will you date me tonight?”

Barrett can’t help but smile at Lance. Barrett turns her attention to her mother whose serious expression prompts Barrett to say “Yes, I would like to join you and celebrate your Birthday. Meet back here at 7:00 pm?”

Lance bobs his head in enthusiasm. “Let this be the start of a loving relationship.” He says astonishing Barrett and leaves the room smiling.

“Mum, why are you trying to marry Byron and I off before you die,” Barrett questions Vic in a mortified tone.

“This lung cancer is eating at me. I need to at least try and meet my future in-laws now before I croak it tomorrow.”

“By the looks and sounds of you today. You won’t be dying tomorrow either.” Barrett utters.

“Tomorrow will certainly be the day I leave this world. So please can you read me another letter.”

Barrett rolls her eyes. Byron gets out of the chair, takes the coffee handed to him by Barrett and kisses Vic goodbye on the cheek then does the same to Barrett who pulls a face at receiving the wet peck. Byron strolls out of the room as Barrett settles herself down to read another letter.

March 31st 2020

Dear Lucas,

Hey Handsome. Today is a good day. I am happy but I still miss you. The world is in shutdown because of a virus that is killing a lot of people. I still have to work during this time. We are doing fine and protecting ourselves to the best that we can. 

I had a visitor arrive from Australia late last week before air travel restrictions were enforced. Brett arrived in Seattle without little Bryon, who was safer at home on the farm. Brett came to protect me during this time.

The hotel he was supposed to stay at closed its doors while he was in transit to the states. I was incredibly happy to see him when he showed up at the station and could not leave him out in the cold so to speak, even though it has been cold out. So, I asked him to stay with me in my new two-bedroom flat I moved into three weeks ago. 

We have and are self-isolating ourselves from each other for the next ten days. He has the run of the flat since I spend half my time at work. When I came home yesterday, I shut myself in my room. Brett cooked for me, leaving my dinner outside my bedroom and we talked through the door while we sat and ate staring at the white door. It was kind of sweet. You know me that mushiness is not at all like me.

Just like you did, Brett is making me feel giddy and wanting hearts, flowers and rainbows. What does that say about him or say about myself?

I didn’t realise how much I missed Brett until I saw him again looking so handsome in his blue jeans and a cream sweater. He makes my heart beat faster.

I am not trying to make you jealous. I just want to tell you how I am feeling. You would want me to move on. I am still not there yet with wanting to do that but my heart is healing. I know that it is by seeing and talking to Brett again. I am starting to feel something for him.

He is so caring, protective and makes me feel secure. We are not in love. We are finding a way around our grief and where we belong in regards to one another. This is a friendship that has major possibilities of becoming so much more. Like I stated before I am happy. Light is starting to find a way into my heart.

I love you, Lucas Ripley. I really do.

You're Eggy

Barrett could not help but cry. This letter means something to her. It’s allowed her to break down her walls and to wonder if her date with Lance will lead to something special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope not too many tears were shed if any while reading this. Let me know what you think?


	7. A Despondent Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vic's eldest Granddaughters came from Melbourne to see her in her final days. In the letter, Vic explains the despondency she is feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been I while since I last shared one of Vic's letters to Lucas. I felt a need for Vic to express her feelings and thoughts.

May 2nd 2078  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A

Vic had been sleeping for hours when her lunch tray arrives at midday. Briana had just with appeared with Bryon’s daughters Ebony and Ivory who arrived from Melbourne early this morning.  
No one knew they were going to come all this way to visit Vic. The girls love their Grandmother dearly and wanted to be with Vic in her last days.

Ebony, a dark brown-haired, green-eyed woman at the age of thirty-two also works on the family farm, living in a tiny house on part of the family property her dad gave to her for her thirtieth Birthday. 

She the elder of the two girls by three years had just got engaged to her Police Officer boyfriend of four years Shane Riggs. Ebony wanted to marry before Vic passes, but Vic told her to wait until afterwards. Vic and Brett had left Ebony funds for her wedding day in Vic’s will.

Ivory, on the other hand, is a twenty-nine-year-old, blond-haired, blue-eyed woman who has been happily married to her high-school sweetheart Nathan Burke for the past seven years. 

She became a property lawyer to better assist her family and the farm even though she works in a law firm in Melbourne. Over an hour away from Warragul where the farm is located in the Gippsland Valley.

The girls are family-focused and needed to be present with the rest of their family during this gloomy time. They wanted to surprise Vic and show her their love.

The girls were chatting with their aunt when Vic awakens to hear their voices. “No, no, no my precious babies are here.” Vic starts to cry.

“Oh, Nan don’t cry we had to come. We love you.” Ivory expresses.

The two girls each take their turn to hug and kiss Vic. Soon all four women were crying in happiness.

“Have Shane and Nathan come with you?” Vic asks.

“No, Nan Shane has just been promoted to Leading Senior Constable back home in Warragul and couldn’t get time off and Nathan is home looking after your great-granddaughter,” Ebony tells her.

“How is baby Melody?”

“Nan, Melody is four now. No longer a baby just a rambunctious preschooler.”

“Oh, time goes by so fast. When are you going to create a sibling for Melody?” Vic pries.

A smile passes Ivory’s face. “Well, there is one incubating as we speak.”

Vic’s eyes grow wide in shock. “There is, when are you due tell me?”

“Nan, it’s still so very new. I haven’t even told Dad yet. I am seven weeks along. Nathan and I only found out last week. The baby is due on Christmas Eve.” Ivory rambles.

“I am so very excited for you. What a special Christmas gift. I will be with you on the day watching from above.”

Ivory hugs Vic again, “I know you will Nan.”

“Aunty Brie told us you had a secret beau before you hooked up with Grandad Brett. She also told us you wrote letters to him after he passed away.”

“Yes, Lucas Ripley was my first love, but wasn’t my last.” Vic says with love in her tone.” I wrote letters to him as a way to cope with my grief.”

“Just like you did with Grandad.” Ebony mentions.

“Yes, you remember?”

“I do because you tried to write them on that ancient computer device.”

“It’s called a tablet and at least I know how to use it. Unlike one of those hologram devices that appear with a press of a button from a pen.”

“Nan, that is new technology. Tablets or iPads are so passé.” Ebony comments.

“You cheeky girl. I order you to read me one of these letters to Lucas.”

Ebony shrugs “Anything for you Nan. Which one should I choose?”

“Just pick one, mum doesn’t care” Brianna mutters to her.

Ebony sits on the side of Vic’s bed. “Are you ready Nan.”

“Fire away.”

_________________________________________________________________ 

September 29th 2020

Dear Lucas,

I am feeling so dejected. I just found out Brett is dating his veterinarian back in Warragul. I know when he left Seattle five months ago, we agreed to just stay as friends though our feelings for one another suggested otherwise. It was going to be too messy if we got together. The long-distance relationship would ruin us in the end. 

Back in April, I was still not over you and Brett continued to miss his wife. It hadn’t even been a year since we lost you all. Our hearts were mending but the world back in March/April was not an ideal time to begin a new romance with that virus making it hard to be physically close. I had to stay away from him since I am a first responder.

Once the world had calmed down and social distancing was a thing of the past and people were seeking companionship. I still held out that Brett would reappear and try to date me.

So, yeah, it’s not jealousy I am feeling. I am just despondent that he decided to date someone else. You realise it’s all your fault. If you had not died, I wouldn’t be in this position. So, excuse me while I yell at you, Chief Ripley.

You had no right to leave me. Our life together was about to begin. Darn, right you messed up by bringing me flowers to our date at the diner. Why did you have to go all hearts and rainbows on me? Damn you, Lucas, I swear if we ever meet again in Heaven, I will hit you over the head with a similar set of flowers you bought for me on the day you died.

I hate you; I want to hate you but I do love you. I love you…you nerdy, Star Wars loving, hot naked freak of a man.

Sorry, I needed to yell at you. I feel better now. I am not angry with you it’s Brett McLeod I am annoyed with. Why date his farm vet when I am here wanting him to date me. I will never find love again. What should I do Luke?

September 30th 2020

Sorry for not finishing this letter yesterday Travis dropped by as I was writing this with his new boyfriend Emmett Dixon. A probie at Station 19. His Dad is the new Fire Chief that took over the reins from you.

There are no comparisons between you and Chief Michael Dixon except for the fact you were/are Seattle's Fire Chief. No-one likes the new Chief including his own son who just came out after getting engaged to his girlfriend.

Long story so not going to bore you with details. Anyway, Travis told me I should fly to Australia and fight for Brett. That’s ridiculous I can’t. I don’t have enough leave and what would happen. I don’t love him just in lust with him. That is not a good enough reason to leave Seattle.

I would leave Seattle permanently if I were to fall in love but not for physical neediness. It was the best decision to remain as friends or maybe we shouldn’t even be that. Our deeper feelings for one another are hindering our friendship. So, it’s best I should just ghost him. He wouldn’t care since he’s smooching Doctor Vet.

Sorry for going on like a crazy woman but with you, I could talk to you about any and everything when we weren’t having a physical conversation.

Haha, you made me smile. Just one spicy thought of you makes me so turned on. I think my golden Hubby will be visiting me tonight. I have a need to feel him vibrating in me as I am imagining you are the one pleasuring me.

Oh, Hubby I love you thanks for listening.

You're Eggy

_________________________________________________________________________

“Damn Nan, you know how to make a girl cry.” Ivory snivels from the chair next to Vic’s bed.

“Nan, I never thought of you needing a dildo.”

“I had needs once. Haven’t you ever used one?”

“Nan, I am not going to talk sex with you.” Ebony states blushing.

Vic and Brie just laughed. Vic loved to tease her older granddaughters as well as her younger grandchildren.

“Ivory your turn to read a letter,” Vic informs her granddaughter with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still interested in the letters to Lucas? If not I will finish off. with one final chapter.


	8. Dammit, I love you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vic is left alone in her hospital room reading the letter she wrote to Lucas a year after his death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a year since Lucas Ripley left our screens in heartbreaking fashion. Not only did we feel the loss of him but we also felt the loss of our Vicley, I remain determined to keep Vicley alive.
> 
> I miss you, Lucas Ripley. My heart remains broken.
> 
> Be prepared have tissues by your side. I had to use them.

May 2nd 2078  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A  
2:45 pm 

“Lucas, oh my darling Hubby I love you,” Vic calls out in her sleep.

“Vic, Vic, I’ll see you soon.”

Vic was woken by the voice and the shuffling of paper. Vic looks around her hospital room. Some of the read letters that laid on her bed had flittered to the floor. There was no one except for her in the room. She was finally alone but not for long as Dr Diane Pierce walks in.

“Hello Victoria, I checked on you a little while ago. You were sleeping soundly and I told your daughters and daughter-in-law, Nicole, to go for a quick coffee at the café just around the corner from the hospital.”

“Finally, I get some peace, thank you.”

Diane lets out a little giggle. “Family can be a handful can’t they.”

“The girls fuss too much. I can manage just fine.” Vic states picking up her plastic cup filled with water, taking a sip before setting it back down on the overbed table.

“They mean well considering you are weak much weaker than you let on.”

“I am weak the pain is unbearable but I am staying strong for them today as tomorrow I’ll leave them.”

“You are adamant that you’ll be going tomorrow. Why tomorrow.”

Vic points her right index finger to the wooden carved box laying on the dresser near the window. “There’s a letter in there I like to read. Can you please pass me the box?”

Diane passes the box to Vic. “Do you want me to stay.”

“Diane, I would like to be alone if that is okay,”

“Yes of course. Ring for the nurse if you need too.” Diane manoeuvres the call button closer to Vic and walks towards the door. She looks back as Vic picks up her reading glasses from the tray and finds the letter she wants to read.

________________________

May 3rd 2020

Hello Hubby,

A year ago, today you left this living world. I still ask why it had to be you that died. Our time together was too short. We were supposed to have a lifetime of getting to know each other. But you were cruelly taken away from me, from your friends and your family. 

We were never given a chance to live out loud in public. I had to bear that consequence alone. If you lived our lives would be so much different.

We would be married now loving each other as we were meant to be. We would be talking about starting a family. Travis wanted to see your amazing hair on our children. Alas, I am hurting, Lucas.

The pain I am feeling today is enormous. I couldn’t get out of bed to go into work this morning. I called in sick as my heart is so damaged. I am all alone sitting here at home in my bed. All I want is for you to be beside me, holding me, whispering that you love me.

Why are you not here? I hate the world because you are not in it. I hate the world because Andy and Chief Sullivan got their happiness and we didn’t. They get to be married, loving one another in front of everyone. There are no more secrets between them or the SFD.

That should have been us. Instead, I got to wear purple spandex in public because I am still into my hobby enough to wear the tight-fitting get-up for a fund-raising calendar. We needed to raise enough money for Pruitt Herrera’s funeral. My misfortune of having to wear that 80's gym wear led to teenage boys gawking at me during our spaghetti fundraiser dinner.

I see you laughing Chief, stop it. I know that you would have loved to strip that costume of me because you would think it was the hottest thing you saw. Just so you know I long to see you wander in from the master en-suite just wearing your towel. How I miss you and how I miss us.

I regret moving on so fast with someone else. It wasn’t them I wanted it was you. I told you already how sorry I was and I won’t mention that poor judgement of mine again. I know you would want me to love again and you know who I have in mind.

The Aussie has now gone home back to Australia. We still communicate via text, phone calls and through facetime. You would like him. His personality is the closest to yours and that is what I loved most about you. Yes, and your devilized good looks too. 

Hubby I really, really miss you. Today is by far the hardest day to not have you here in my life. Your love will always live on in my heart. I will never let your love for me evaporate.

I want to hear your voice telling me you love me. Just like you did the first time. I relive that moment every day. “Victoria Hughes, I love you.” You said holding me in your arms and I replied in my feverish state, “Dammit, I love you too.”

I say dammit now because I still love you and I know you still love me even though you’re not here with me now. I feel you sometimes in bed holding me in your arms. I live for that moment. I feel save and loved. Oh, how crazy it was that we found each other.

You were a great man, a kind, caring man who had lost his way in life (love life) then lit up when we meet. You showed me I was totally wrong about many things and you helped me find strength in myself. Most of all I found love for the first time and it had to be with you, Lucas Ripley. It just had to be you. 

Our last moments together were heartbreaking. I was strong through it all because I didn’t want you to see my pain that you would very soon leave me. I am so happy that I got to be the love of your life as you are mine at least for now.

I promise you we will meet again in the afterlife and I will be by your side forever loving you as I do now.

I will forever remain,

You're Eggy

___________________________

Vic’s tears stream down her face as she whispers. “I will be with you tomorrow Lucas. I have missed you.”

The letter that she held ripples down to the floor in a mysterious gust of air loosening it from her grip. Vic smiles knowing it was Lucas responding to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I made you cry.


	9. It's Now or Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byron and Barrett wait for their dates to turn up in Vic's hospital room. While waiting for her date, Barrett reads a letter to Vic only to become vexed as there is no ending to the letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am feeling in a positive frame of mind and decided to add an update to this AU as it's been a while.

**May 2nd 2078**  
Seattle, Washington State, U.S.A  
6:00pm 

Vic could hear loud voices coming down the hospital corridor, knowing all too well who the voices belonged to. A moment later in walks, Bryon dressed in bright blue jeans and a baby blue coloured sweater. He was closely followed by Barrett wearing a red polka dot printed three-quarter sleeve tied waist blouse and black high waist basic crepe wide-leg pants and white strappy block heeled sandals.

Vic’s breath gets caught in her throat seeing Bryon reminding her of her dead husband. “Mum, don’t stop breathing now.” Byron jokes.

Barrett mortified at Bryon’s inappropriate remark slaps his arm shouting “You are an insensitive beast.” Vic shocks Barrett by laughing, “Mum, don’t laugh at this brute.”

“It’s funny! I am about to die and you need to see the comical side of it. I have lived a wonderful life falling in love with two of the kindest men. Rette, I am going to go when I damn well, please. Besides, your brother’s remark is something your father would have said.”

Byron and Barrett stare at each other and burst out in laughter “Hey, remember that time a calf got stuck in the mud after that bad storm on your thirteenth birthday?” Byron asks Barrett still chuckling.

“Yeah, Dad said it was an udder disaster and what about the time twenty cattle escaped the paddock awaiting transport to the cattle auctions, What joke did Dad make then? ” Barrett adds cheerfully.

Vic joins in by replying “They must have gone to the Meat Ball early.”

They all laugh as they reminisce about Brett McLeod. Their reverie soon comes to an end when Diane ambles into the room. Byron’s jaw drops in surprise at the sight of Diane dressed in a buttoned-down sky blue coloured classic shirt, showing some cleavage and a yellow pleated knee-high skirt. 

“Wow! You…you…look beautiful.” Byron stutters.

Diane holds her hands up to her cheeks, blushing and nervously replies “Thank you.” 

“I thought we were just going to the hospital cafeteria.” Bryon states.

“I hope you don’t mind but I forgot I had accepted an invitation to have drinks to help celebrate a colleagues birthday,” Diane says warily.

“These drinks would not happen to be for Dr Riley?” Vic asks smiling.

“Yes, they are. How do you know?

“Um, because Lance invited me.” Barrett divulges nervously.

“Oh! You’re the lady he told me about.”

“Really! He spoke about me?”

Diane tittered nodding her head “He mentioned that he met a lovely lady whose mother was trying her best to marry her off. I should have known that he was referring to the McLeod women.”

Feeling awkward and impatient Byron mutters “Shall we grab a bite to eat first. I am famished.”

The corners of Diane’s mouth turn upwards “I am too. I know of a great burger place nearby.”

Byron groans suddenly remembering he didn’t want to venture far from Vic. Before he could say a word, Vic says “I promise to keep on breathing while my children try to get some spice.”

Byron roars in laughter as Diane covers her face in embarrassment and Barrett yells out “Mum!” in a mortified tone. 

“I think we better leave before Mum embarrasses us all even more,” Byron tells Diane.

“Agreed!”

The couple swiftly retreats from the room leaving Barrett with Vic whilst waiting for her date to show up.

“How did you decide that Dad was for you?” Barrett blurts out stunning Vic.

A tired Vic motions Barrett to the box of letters that were neatly put back into the box earlier in the afternoon. Barrett not sure what letter to look for plucks one out, hoping it was the letter her mother wanted her to read.

Skimming through the letter Barrett shrieks “Eureka! I am certain this is the letter you want me to read.”

////////////////

**November 7th 2020**

Hello Hubby,

I have come to the realisation my feelings for Brett have grown over the past weeks as we continue to talk and skype each other nearly every day. He makes me laugh telling me stories about his day on the farm. He makes me visualise being there with him.

Why is it that I imagine the men I want to be with? I’m rolling my eyes since I know I can’t be with a dead man and Brett is too far away for me to be with him.

Don’t glare at me like I’m stupid. I know he’s alive but I told you before it won’t work as there is a large ocean separating us and who is going to sacrifice their livelihood. I can’t see Brett giving up the farm and moving here to Seattle with Byron.

It’s not fair to displace a child from his family and from things he knows. Then there’s Brett what can he do here. All he knows is farming.

It makes sense for me to move. Hang on a minute, I am getting ahead of what’s real. Brett has a girlfriend, Kate. I forgot that fact.

Okay, I admit it I am stupid. Are you happy now? Yes, I am yelling at you for making me see sense. I know I have moped for maybe a little too long and missed my chance being with a man that I can see sharing my life with. 

Oh! Damn, maybe I should have accepted Miller’s invitation to go on a date with him. Yes, I see your surprise. I found out that he has a thing for me. Can I say “Eek or ew.” There’s just no way I can see myself with him in a sexual way. 

Dean is like a brother to me. You and I know that. He’s someone to joke with, play pranks on and to show off my swagger to. What in God’s name makes him think I could feel an attraction towards him. Ew! I can’t. It freaks me out thinking about it.

I have to pause this letter for a moment, Brett is calling me. I am excited to hear his voice.

I’m back…sorry Hubby for pausing this letter momentarily. I just got off the phone with Brett and I am feeling so sad. Brett just asked for my advice on how to propose to a woman. I tried to sound excited for him. I can’t remember what I told him. The shock of knowing he is going to propose to his girlfriend made me speechless. I think all I kept mumbling was “Yes or no to his questions.”

I can’t bear to go through another heartbreak. Wait! Why I am I so upset? There you go again giving me that goofy look. Yes! The one you gave me that time in bed talking about our fake vacations and not be a secret anymore.

What are you trying to tell me, Hubby? Yes, I like Brett a lot, more than like in fact. I love how he makes me feel wanted, how he talks to me asking me questions to know every single detail about my day. I look forward to that time of day he calls or skypes me. I can’t wait for that time. I feel so close to him as we talk. We have a bond. It feels like…like…

Oh! Damn. I am in love again. 

What do I do now? What should do? Lucas Ripley help me. Be my Obi-Wan Kenobi, be my only hope. Please tell me…

////////////////

“No…Mum where is the second page that belongs to this letter.” Barrett squeals going into a flurry flicking through the other letters in the box. 

Vic laughs watching her daughter trying to find the ending to the letter. “Rette, Rette…You know how it ends.”

The open mouth expression Barrett gives her, suggests these letters mean so much more to her, especially this one.

“Mum, these letters are not just your way of grieving and talking with Lucas. You are telling a love story about you and Dad. I need to know how you and he got together.”

“Knock, knock.” said an Australian accent.

Barrett turns her head and swoons at the sight of Dr Lawrence Riley, standing attractively in the doorway. No man has made her feel that way in a long time, not since her late husband.

Giving up the search for the ending of the letter Barrett studies Vic’s smiling face, realising that you’ll never forget your first true love once they have passed. Life goes on and so does finding someone else to love and be loved in return.

Smiling at Lance she takes his hand after kissing her mother goodnight and saying “Don’t leave us yet, there are more letters to read and we need to find the second page to the letter I was reading. Love you, Mum.”

Vic starts to wave them off and suddenly calls out “Lance give my daughter some spice.”

“Mum!” Barrett whines back loudly from the corridor making Vic chuckle before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not a tearjerker like the ones previously. Vic is starting to move on do you think it's time in this AU for her to do that?


End file.
